The other day Bruno and I watched a danish movie, Solkongen. For those who don't know the movie, it is about a somewhat naive young man, who meets love in the form of a slightly alcoholized lady 29 years older than himself.
A fine movie, and fun - and Bruno and I had us a nice discussion on a subject, that we frequently touch.
Basically I see the benefits of spousing up with someone pretty close to your own age. You are at the same point in your life. You grow old at approximately th same time. You have the same frame of reference about a lot of things.
Bruno shares this opinion, just fiercer than I do. When we started seeing each other romantically, it suddenly dawned on him that I was actually SEVEN years his junior ... and just for a moment that was taking up quite some space in his head, worrying him a bit.
I am more like "....and?"
It has to be said, that our quite insignificant age difference means little in our daily life. It mostly means a difference in the music we heard, when we were going out as teenagers, and hopefully it will mean nothing more in the future, than that Bruno is going to be keeping house for some years when he retires, and I am still a "young lady".
I have never been seriously involved in anyone differing much from my own age. At a point I had a boyfriend who was 7 years younger than me, at a time in my life where this was not an inconsiderable age difference, but it never got serious to the point where I was considering it a problem.
But then - I am of the opinion, that even if there are advantages to being of the same age, I wouldn't hesitate, if I fell in love with a person 20 years older or younger than myself.
Yes I know - "When you are 50, he will be 70!" or the other version "When you're 60, he will be 40 and still young."
But life doesn't write out guarantees. You don't even know if you will be here tomorrow. You don't know if you will ever meet anyone, who can bring you the joys this person have in store for you - will you give that up because your age difference might be a problem 20 years from now? Will you NOT take this journey, because the train might stop just one station short of the destination you planned?
Would you rather pass it by and look for someone more your age? You know, there is no guarantee to that love lasting life long. Or that the someone your age will grow old with you - sometimes people die early.
It is right now, that we are alive. Of course we must look ahead, and secure ourselves to some point.
But now is the time to live and to love.
There is no guarantee that you will be here in 20 years.
Life as well as love does not grant guarantees.
Only chances are given. Whether we dare is up to us.