A while ago I got a phone call from a blogger, that I've been exchanging comments with, and sometimes had one-on-one contact with online for a number of years.
The call was a nice surprise, because she is a lovely lady, with lots of interesting angles on life.
She was, it turned out, a bit worried about me, because I blog more rarely, and when I do, it seemed too rosy - could I really be that happy, and could things be that all-round-good in my neck of the woods?
I thought about it for a long time, and since then I wondered - am I really as happy as my blog postulates?
The answer turns out to be - yes, I am. My life actually is devoid of great sorrows and relatively free of weltschmertz.
I am in a relationship with a man, that manages to make me happy morning, noon and night. Even when he is not here, it makes me amazingly happy to imagine his face and think that he will come back home to spend his life with me in a little bit.
Our life together is happy, giving and receiving and completely uncomplicated. In the 10+ years we've lived together, we've probably had 2 fights. We don't always agree, but we embrace each others person with love, and we find solutions to our differences.
My kids have grown up to be lovely adolescents and adults. Bruno and I have 5 children all together (3 of them mine), and when you have kids, you have worries - but not the kind that keeps me up at night. These days even my relationships to the father of my children is tranquil, friendly and cooperative.
When it comes to my extended family, I can't find any problems either. Our parents are aging - all in their 70'es, and disease and age do cause worries - that is not to be avoided. But still, harmony is dominant. My mother is an agile and sharp-headed lady of 77, and my mother-in-law is one of the toughest, most fun and positive people I know, in spite of my father-in-law's illness - he has a bad case of smokers lungs, which is known to be quite debilitating.
At work I thrive with what I do. And I sincerely like and care about my nearest colleagues - the guys in my team. They are nice, fun and professionally able people, that clearly don't mind going the extra mile, and we have a good time while getting the job done.
I live in a lovely house, that my husband and I picked out ourselves, and that we are restoring room by room. I love being close to town, and the life that it provides. I adore the little, cozy spots in our small garden - the morning sun on the terrace, the shady spot under the pear tree - and we have nice neighbours.
Even my car makes me happy :) When I pick it up in the parking cellar after a day of work, I smile at it, when it greets me with flashing headlights. Then it treats me to a lovely, comfortable drive, where coffee is served (if I remembered to make it) and a nice story is read to me - I like crime stories the best :) The drive takes us through a nice moor landscape, and it doesn't really feel all that long any more.
Oh golly! Sometimes I think, like beforementioned blogger - I've gone soft and content with too little, but making status, I find that I have incredibly much! Including all kinds of ways to improve my life and myself even more.
That I happen to have been granted a positive and easy going personality, probably accents it and makes it even easier to be me.
But my conclusion has to be - I AM that happy, and my life IS that good. There may not be a colour coordinated flower setting in my garden, and my everyday plates may still be the dull white ones we bought in bulk when we moved in together. My garden chairs may have white paint flaking off (thus becoming shabby chik at a point where it is not really modern any more) and I may need to lose a pound or ten (but I don't bother right now). My bookshelves may be messy, and my tiny lawn may need mowing. My current knitting has been halfways done for months - but hey!
I am pretty good. Life is fine.
Even when I consult my deepest gut feeling.